Accessing the Power of Gratitude

The practice of gratitude as a tool for happiness has been in the mainstream for years. Long-term studies support gratitude’s effectiveness, suggesting that a positive, appreciative attitude contributes to greater success in work, greater health, peak performance in sports and business, a higher sense of well-being, and a faster rate of recovery from surgery.

But while we may acknowledge gratitude’s many benefits, it still can be difficult to sustain. So many of us are trained to notice what is broken, undone or lacking in our lives. And for gratitude to meet its full healing potential in our lives, it needs to become more than just a Thanksgiving word. We have to learn a new way of looking at things, a new habit. And that can take some time.

That’s why practicing gratitude makes so much sense. When we practice giving thanks for all we have, instead of complaining about what we lack, we give ourselves the chance to see all of life as an opportunity and a blessing.

Remember that gratitude isn’t a blindly optimistic approach in which the bad things in life are whitewashed or ignored. It’s more a matter of where we put our focus and attention. Pain and injustice exist in this world, but when we focus on the gifts of life, we gain a feeling of well-being. Gratitude balances us and gives us hope.

There are many things to be grateful for: colorful autumn leaves, legs that work, friends who listen and really hear, chocolate, fresh eggs, warm jackets, tomatoes, the ability to read, roses, our health, butterflies. What’s on your list?

Some Ways to Practice Gratitude

•  Keep a gratitude journal in which you list things for which you are thankful. You can make daily, weekly or monthly lists. Greater frequency may be better for creating a new habit, but just keeping that journal where you can see it will remind you to think in a grateful way.

•  Make a gratitude collage by drawing or pasting pictures.

•  Practice gratitude around the dinner table or make it part of your nighttime routine.

•  Make a game of finding the hidden blessing in a challenging situation.

•  When you feel like complaining, make a gratitude list instead. You may be amazed by how much better you feel.

•  Notice how gratitude is impacting your life. Write about it, sing about it, express thanks for gratitude.

As you practice, an inner shift begins to occur, and you may be delighted to discover how content and hopeful you are feeling. That sense of fulfillment is gratitude at work.

Good Judgment Comes From Bad Experience…Experience Comes From Bad Judgment

Nobody particularly likes making mistakes, but let’s face it; we all do it – sometime every day!  The thing that’s really cool about making mistakes is that if you learn from them correctly, they will move you forward in your life.  Too many people today seem to be unwilling to put themselves out there for fear of making “the dreaded” mistake because too few people realize that by doing so, they allow themselves to benefit from an essential part of self improvement.  Forget about the possible guilt and regrets and focus instead on figuring out how to learn from them.

Research shows us that people who go through life afraid to make a mistake spend most of their lives doing absolutely nothing.   Why can’t we embrace the fact that there is more personal gain from making mistakes then from doing nothing in order to prevent them from sneaking up on us?

Sure, mistakes happen for a variety of reasons.  It’s what you do about it when they do happen that really matters, not the fact that you made a mistake.  Take the time to understand the underlying reason(s) the mistakes were made.  If it’s because you were too tired to think clearly, get more rest. If it’s because of a big gap in your leadership or interpersonal skills, hire a Professional coach.   If it’s because you were stressed out, work on ways of finding avenues to reduce your stress and find ways to learn how to relax (exercise, meditation, social interaction, etc.).

Making mistakes allows us to gain wisdom and rapidly accelerate self-improvement in our lives.  They are a platform that provides us with deeper and broader perspectives that enrich our personal growth and experiences and empower us to have improved judgment and develop higher levels of personal character.

Embrace your mistakes….they demonstrate your ability to take risks and enable you to achieve your goals and live your best life.  They are powerful tools in defining and getting clear about your intentions and to move forward with heightened awareness of your soul satisfying life purpose.

“Experience fails to teach when there is no desire to learn.” ~George Bernard Shaw

Every day is a school day……be a life learner and live YOUR life of purpose!

What's It Really All About?

Last week I wrote about choosing your mood and how we are all empowered to really choose how we think and respond to circumstances.  I found myself in need of taking stock of my own disposition this week when faced with the conflict of how I was spending my time.  As many of you have experienced the pain of starting your own businesses or witnessed friends and family as they have journeyed through launching their own businesses, it’s a daunting and unrelenting task.  We go into business with all of these ideologies about how it’s going to be so much better than working for “The Man” not truly understanding its unique challenges and the all consuming control it attempts to have over our lives.

As I was struggling to care for my sick child on Monday AND devote the time I needed and had committed to each day to working on growing my business, I found myself feeling very frustrated and conflicted.  On one hand, I am and will continue to be a good mother AND my daughter was sick and on the other hand, I felt an overwhelming sense of urgency to stay on task with the actions and intentions that I had set forth to purposefully advance my business each and every day.  When I was caring for my daughter, in the back of my mind my little inner-Gremlins were screaming at me “You need to be doing this or you need to be doing that if you’re EVER going to create a viable thriving business”.  As the day grew longer, the voices of the Gremlins grew louder and I was torn between what I thought I should be doing and what I was actually doing in the caring for of my daughter.  After all, she’s seventeen years old.  Shouldn’t she be able to take care of herself by now instead of attempting to return to the womb?  Whoa!!  When those questions starting ringing and screaming in my head is when I told myself I need to step back and do some serious evaluating of my present state of mind.

As I began to try to really understand the tsunami of feelings I was struggling with and how conflicted I felt it suddenly came to me like this great epiphany – my “AH-HA” moment.  The reason why I was feeling so disjointed and discombobulated was because my thoughts and my emotions were not in alignment with my core values.  I was allowing my inner-Gremlins to try to tempt me to place value on something over that of what was really most valuable.  The health and welfare of my children is paramount to ANYTHING else in my life and because I was allowing my thoughts and feelings to be driven by a grossly miss-aligned priority, I was internally thrown off kilter and living a day out of alignment with my values by allowing my inner voices to misguide me.  How often do you find yourself in similar situations and not realize that your internal discomfort and sense of dishevelment is because your actions and intentions are not in alignment with your core values?  I bet it happens more often than you realize…….think what positive change could come to you if you could live your life in alignment with your core values.  It starts by knowing exactly what your core values are.  Do you know yours? 

For a free core value assessment, go to: http://www.ethicalleadership.org/Self%20Guided%20Core%20Values%20Exercise.pdf.  Then, if you’d like to discuss your findings with someone who can help you get in alignment with your core values, I’d love to help.  ckmoore@AskTheQuestionNow.com  

Choose Your Mood

You ever have one of those days, weeks, months….lives…..where you wake up just feeling like a grouch every morning?  Before you even get out of bed you are frustrated with the tasks of the day and feeling overwhelmed by the chaos of your schedule?  Haven’t made it to the coffee pot yet but you just want to kick the dog and go back to bed and pull the covers over your head?  Well, good news, you are in good company.  Too many of us today experience this type of daily anguish.  We live at a break neck pace seldom taking time to regroup, refresh and rejuvenate ourselves.  All this leads to a chronic state of feeling out of sorts with the universe and makes us tired, troubled and frankly, quite irritable.

So, you’re thinking to yourself….gee, that’s all true but it’s all well out of my control.  I challenge you to rethink that mindshare and consider for a moment what your life would feel like if instead of waking up feeling out of sorts with the world every day, you woke up and couldn’t wait to embrace the day?  The demands of your day haven’t changed yet you approach them all with a vision seen through a totally different lens.  Just as a lens alters the convergence of light rays, as for magnification, or in correction of visual defects, you have the power to change the way you experience things and alter your mood.

Just like choosing what you are going to enjoy for breakfast, you are empowered to choose how your mind is going to control your day.  Happiness is, in fact, a choice.  One that is far too seldom selected by the vast majority of people but I challenge you to consider how your day would be altered if you subscribed to this philosophy for just one 24-hour period.  You owe it to yourself (not to mention to those around you) to live with joy in your life.  Try it for just one day…..make the commitment to yourself that regardless of your circumstances, you are going to approach each task with enthusiasm and the heartfelt pleasure that accompanies doing something well.

You’ll likely discover that your feel good state of mind is contagious and that those around you begin to notice your new approach to life and want some of it.  Imagine what it would be like to actually enjoy your daily activities and complete each day with a sense of fulfillment and completeness.  Pretty simple equation.  Change the viewing and you will change the doing.  You can do it.  Give it a go.

"Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day."

 -Henri Nouwen

Afraid of Taking Risks? – Five Steps to Making “IT” Risk Free

Risk taking is typically not a natural inclination for most people yet we live in a world that mandates change is inevitable and therefore is seen by many as risk.  What if you were able to change your model of the world by thinking in terms of performing experiments to achieve the desired outcome vs. taking risks which infers a possible opportunity for failure?  What if someone told you there were no negative consequences in not achieving the desired outcome first time out of the chute?  Would you feel more comfortable with stepping outside of your comfort zone if you had a strategy which guaranteed you that you  could redirect your activities to ensure “success” or scrub the plan completely?  Thinking in terms of “experiments” vs. “risk” allows you to do just that.  Let’s examine the steps you might explore to “experiment” with a new approach to reach both a positive outcome and achieve the desired change.

1.       Determine what the desired outcome would be.  What would it look like?  What would it feel like?  How would you or others know if you had accomplished this?

2.       Define a series of small steps that advance you closer to achieving your desired outcome or goal.  Be specific about what evidence will be there to support your successful completion of each step.  Be honest with yourself.  If you can’t support the evidence, regroup and execute upon another small strategy that will allow you to arrive at the same place before moving on to the next step in your plan.

3.       Enlist the aid of a trusted accountability partner.  That may be a coach, a mentor, a co-worker, etc.  Ask them for their constructive feedback as you move toward your defined desired outcome.  Be receptive to their input but also remember that a good accountability partner doesn’t criticize but uses their input constructively and offers suggestions/recommendations on more effective methods for achieving your goal.

4.       Test your findings.  Observe others as they observe the changes they are seeing in you or your business model or sales strategies or whatever your desired outcome is.  Are they relating to you more easily, working more productively, becoming a more cohesive team?  Again, validate your progress through your observation of its impact on those around you.

5.       Lastly, determine at the conclusion of your experiment whether or not you feel you have reached your desired outcome or goal. 

If the answer is yes, then congratulations.  You have developed a new skill that will only get better with practice.  Take a moment to document the steps you took to arrive at the new model of your world.  Also, give yourself permission to feel good about stepping out of your comfort zone and trying new techniques through experimentation vs. the dreaded “change equals negative/fearful” mindshare that you may have been plagued with in the past.  Don’t forget to offer your appreciation to your accountability partner and share your new found model for success with those around you.

However, if the answer is no, go back and assess how closely you followed the steps outlined above.  Determine when you failed to recognize that the steps you were taking were not delivering the results you desired.  Once you identify the pitfalls, go back and try your experiment one more time.  I’m confident you will experience a better outcome and will have honed new skills that will continue to serve you well.  Congratulations on allowing your model of the world to change.